Stop asking kids what they want to be and start asking them what kind of life they want to live.
I was chatting with my youngest son — who is physically a full-grown man at 15, but still just a boy trying to figure life out. He has big dreams of attending the University of Michigan and is working hard toward that goal, but recently he told me he doesn’t know what he wants to “do” when he grows up.
I could feel the pressure behind his words, like he’s supposed to have it all figured out within the next two years.
So I shared something I wish someone had told me:
“Instead of asking yourself what do you want to DO when you grow up, ask yourself what kind of LIFE do you want to live.”
That’s the real question.
And everything becomes clearer from there.
What does your dream life look like?
Once you can visualize the macro vision, you can work backward and break it into micro goals that support it.
Ask yourself:
- What kind of days do you want to have?
- Do you want creativity, structure, independence, or adventure?
- What environments make you feel alive?
- What kind of impact do you want to make?
- Do you imagine working indoors or outdoors?
- Do you want freedom or structure? Teamwork or independence?
- Do you want a calm life, a high-energy life, or something in between?
- What kind of people do you want around you?
- What kind of energy do you want your life to feel like?
When kids start answering these questions, they’re no longer choosing from job titles they barely understand — they’re designing a future rooted in values and lifestyle.
And in a world where careers shift constantly and reinvention is normal, this mindset matters more than ever.
Why This Question Matters More Than Ever
We’ve built an entire society around job titles.
- “What do you do?”
- “What’s your major?”
- “What career are you choosing?”
- “Which lane are you in?”
But a lane means nothing if you don’t understand the destination.
Kids today are growing up in a world where:
- careers shift every few years
- new industries appear overnight
- flexibility is often more valuable than stability
- reinvention is expected
- job titles are fluid and temporary
So why are we still insisting they pick one thing and lock themselves in?
When you flip the question, you’re no longer asking them to choose a job — you’re asking them to design a life.
And that changes everything.
Lifestyle Creates Career Direction — Not the Other Way Around
Careers should emerge from values, temperament, passions, and desired lifestyle — not be chosen in a vacuum.
If a child wants:
✨ freedom, creativity, flexibility, travel, meaningful connections
There are hundreds of career paths that align with that. You’re expanding possibilities, not narrowing them.
If a child wants:
✨predictability, stability, routine, clear structure
There are careers that honor those needs too.
When you lead with a vision for your life, careers become pathways — not prisons.
The Moment Everything Shifted
When I told my son this, his whole energy softened.
He wasn’t being asked to solve a puzzle he didn’t have the pieces for.
He wasn’t being asked to pick a lifelong identity.
He wasn’t being asked to guess the “right” answer.
He was simply being asked to imagine his life — not his job. And that is liberating.
Sometimes clarity isn’t about having the answer, It’s about being asked the right question.
A Reminder for All of Us (Even the Adults)
Many of us chose careers based on:
- what was “practical”
- what paid well
- what our parents expected
- what society praised
Then we wake up years later wondering why something feels misaligned.
So this message isn’t just for kids.
It’s for anyone who feels stuck, burnt out, misaligned, or unsure.
Your life is bigger than your job title.
Your identity is bigger than your résumé.
Your future is bigger than the box you were placed in.
It’s never too late to ask: “What kind of life do I want to live?”
Nurture that vision. Then let your career evolve to support it.